Tag: joke
member name: Kati Mills
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December 23, 2008 07:17 PM EST --
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage . . .
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December 27, 2008 06:14 PM EST --
Two 90-year-old women, Vivian and Edith, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Edith was dying, Vivian visited her every day.
One day Vivian said, 'Edith, we both loved playing . . .
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December 24, 2008 03:17 PM EST --
Most hilarious Church debate ever, methinks:
http://www.all-creatures.org/humor/dodogshave.html
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April 09, 2009 03:09 PM EDT --
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks.
The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, . . .
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May 08, 2009 12:23 PM EDT --
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be . . .
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May 31, 2009 10:25 AM EDT --
A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store, grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
"Nope," . . .
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June 21, 2009 01:22 PM EDT --
-- It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
-- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-- If you start dancing in the street, . . .
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April 04, 2009 02:38 PM EDT --
1. A man will
pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A . . .
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May 07, 2009 08:29 AM EDT --
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer . . .
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May 31, 2009 10:27 AM EDT --
Last night I got temporary amnesia and I totally forgot!
My older sister couldn't find her same homework from last year.
The dog did it for me, but it was in his language.
The paper airplane . . .
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June 01, 2009 01:30 PM EDT --
Most people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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June 04, 2009 10:37 AM EDT --
A guy is in the hospital with two broken legs. The nurse comes in and tells him that there's good news and bad news.
The guy asks for the bad news first.
The nurse says, "We're going to have . . .
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June 10, 2009 10:47 AM EDT --
A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking . . .
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June 10, 2009 04:05 PM EDT --
A man frantically speaks into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is . . .
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June 12, 2009 10:26 AM EDT --
A guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard, so he decides to get acquainted. After introductions, he asks the new neighbor what he does for a living.
The new neighbor says, "I'm a professor." . . .
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June 16, 2009 11:58 AM EDT --
A: The lottery.
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June 19, 2009 03:01 PM EDT --
As pothead walks down the road, a genie appears in front of him. "I'll grant you two wishes," says the genie.
The pothead replies, "I want a never ending joint."
The genie says, "As you wish," . . .
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June 23, 2009 01:29 PM EDT --
Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers but ... it doesn't seem to matter.
Bull Terrier x Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed.
Pointer x Setter = Poinsetter, . . .
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June 30, 2009 11:22 AM EDT --
Some caddy humor:
Golfer: Notice any improvement since last year? Caddy: Polished your clubs, didn't you?
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Golfer: Why do you keep looking at your watch? Caddy: This isn't a watch, . . .
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June 30, 2009 11:27 AM EDT --
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. . . .
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